As a single mom, I’ve landed myself in over fifty thousand dollars of debt. Not once, but twice. Because of these delightful experiences, I’m way too familiar with the lies that kept me paying the price of debt.

And I’ve been wondering lately, if you are too.

Most of us have done it. In some way or another.

Regardless of how warm and cozy we’ve cuddled up to our debt, or how we accumulated it, whether it be during a marriage or divorce, single mom journey, medical bills, through college, or simply trying to keep the lights on during the hustle of life, most of us want it gone.

So why is tackling our debt so hard?

We’re all a bit different but life has a way of confusing each of us, at times.

Shiny objects can be distracting, and emotions and life circumstances can take us on a long detour.

On a route we were better off not traveling.

During these off-road adventures, our definition of debt and the reasons we stay hugged up to it can get muddled.

Car payment? That’s not debt. That’s a necessity.

Christmas gifts? Let me just purchase those on my credit card. 😁

Kids need to eat? Swipe that Visa, baby! Because, well, budgeting hurts my head.

Whatever the case may be, here are four commonly accepted lies that keep us, as single moms, married to our debt and flying through our bank accounts like yesterday’s laundry.

It’s just 20 bucks. It won’t make a difference. No. It won’t. But collectively, and in time it will.

Time is on my side. Maybe, but are you making the most of your time? According to an article by AARP, women need to save just over 11% of their final take home. If time is on our side, then let’s use it to begin investing and saving for our future and our family.

I owe it to my child(ren). From personal experience, single mom guilt is brutal. There is a deep-rooted idea that we must redeem the loss we may have created or come to the rescue and resolve the loss of a family unit. In doing so, we go to great links to give them what we or think they need. But mama, what we really owe our precious peas is a solid financial foundation. Teaching them how to honor incoming finances and how to manage where it goes.

I don’t have enough to pay my bills, let alone save and pay off debt. Maybe that is the case, and if it is, I understand. Because I have been there. If so, creating a solid actionable plan to grow out of this place is key. Instead, decide you aren’t going to be a single parent statistic and chooce to not make this standard of living a permanent residency.

Speaking of an actionable plan. What’s the deal on moving forward and out of these four lies?

This is the hard part, but asking questions like:

What is debt?

In what creative ways can I pay mine off?

What do I need to do to get to a place to begin paying it off?

In what time frame can I do it?

What mental preparation needs to take place to even ask these hard questions?

It is these types of questions that open the door for answers and make room to create a plan for you to enjoy the sweet life of being debt free!

To that, I say a HUGE – YAHOO!!!

Beyond these tough questions, we’ve gotta do some work on reframing the mind to remove old money mindsets and those old habits like eating out after work every night, or just not budgeting and overspending.

This takes intention, friend. Pure hard work and intention.

So, if financial success begins by asking the hard questions, then when do we start?

If you’re up to the challenge, here are a few questions to get you geared up to becoming debt free in 2019:

Are struggling to make monthly payments on your debt without sacrificing your car payment, rent/mortgage or food? Are you making, or need to make, monthly payments and sacrificing the opportunity to save an emergency fund, putting away for that college plan or 529 savings and retirement? Are you not taking the time to make the right financial plans, get your education or create the change needed.

Instead, are you spending precious time and money to feel good in yur now, while putting the investment of you on hold?

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But here’s the tough and honest truth…

Single mom, friend, and the only one in your life that can make these changes, you’re not being a wise steward of your finances. You’re not taking care of you and your family to the best of your ability. You’re taking the easy route and wasting time in this one precious life you have been given.

How about making those changes this year? How about creating a plan today? What do you need to get it done?

Cassie