Can I highjack 2.5 minutes of your day for a motherhood rant? In return, I would love if you could please tell me, this week, what the hell is going on in this land of all things crazy with a slight chance of being smothered in a dollop of love on a random, unexpected day.
In the Land of Motherhood, a dollop of love is even a stretch, my friend. A far stretch on some days and for some mommas.
I’d feel more comfortable with this conversation if I could just take a second and lay this out before we go any further —I am NOT a parenting expert on said topics:
I do not help single mommas teach their littles how to clean up their toys or eat those ugly green vegetables.
Sleep training? Not that either.
Nor can I keep your teen from sneaking out your kitchen window or blasting steamy photos all over Snapchat, Instagram and Twitter like yesterday’s dinner.
You will not see me giving strong advice on how to potty train over the weekend while enjoying your trip to Cancun or groom your seventeen-year-old to Sainthood.
You won’t. It’s what I am not good at. It’s what I have not mastered.
To save time and to clarify, here’s a link to learn more about what I can help with…
I have heard about this concept though.
This idea that there are easy kids and more challenging kids. There are those that follow rules and those that challenge them. God bless their sweet spirits covered in soured sugar.
I’ve noticed a variety of these children in both married homes and single-parent households. I’ve seen them in a collection of faiths and when there is not such a system in place. I’m sure you have too. Maybe you have one or the other in your own home and you’re able to relate.
In all this mothering and parenting I can’t help to look around at all the 4,794,836 parenting books to learn what has been figured out.
Keywords like Love – lol, who would’ve guessed–and Perseverance. Hope. Mercy. Gratitude. Friendships, family and forgiveness. Village. Community. Mending the heart. Boundaries. Consistency. Patience, insert eye roll.
Yet, even with all this richness, seventeen years in and I still find myself lost and confused as I was in that awkwardly awful stage of young adulthood.
How naive was I to think life became easier as I mastered the timeless skills of this journey.
In all the craziness I’ve been known to curl up in a tight ball.
In a dark corner.
Eating chocolate, while holding very tightly a case of red wine.
Hoping the apocalypse will come late in the night.
Then perhaps, I won’t have to face all my conflicting, internal, horrific ugliness when my girl can’t seem to master the rules of the house, or set her alarm. Or the toddler is on #12 of meltdowns because I’m not taking the time to sit and play —Peppa Pig.
Do you want to play Peppa Pig?
And so, my dear friend, on some days, I simply don’t fully grasp the complex recipe of family dishes we are each uniquely served.
In the big book called the BIBLE and all the millions of parenting self-help, I have found some comfort. These golden words, written throughout history, are so rich in weight and magical in application.
And yet, the hardest and most difficult to apply.
This is why we were not made to go this journey alone. And one of the very most important reasons why my heart is called to walk next to single moms.
I have learned this: Motherhood. Parenthood. It is a dangerous hood, friend. It is a place where no man or woman should dare travel alone.
This is why I do what I do. Not because I have perfected much. But rather my own struggle that helps me lean into yours. Because of my own journey, the idea of you walking the streets of motherhood alone, as a single mom, makes my heart very heavy.
‘Till next time friend…
Food for thought: does it have to be so difficult or are we making it more complicated? In what ways are you getting in your own way? What is yours to carry and what do you need to let go of?
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Such eloquent words for such complicated feelings! We are all 1000% guilty of getting in our own way. Thank God for mamas who keep it real and let us know we are not alone!