To my husband–curbed for public view–an open letter from my heart to yours,
On some days it probably seems like you took on the world.
My sweet goodness, in all of its craziness.
During most of my days, as messy as they are, I see very clearly you took on all of my world.
I like to think it was my irresistible dance moves and mad cooking skills but as time has lent to the truth, through the hardest of our days, I hear over and over —God put me and my little girl on this man’s heart.
I’m pretty sure I can speak for both us when I say…
We weren’t prepared for the selfless dedication, loving mercy, and compassion it would require in bringing our family together.
Yes, deep words from our place of emotional residence.
With some harsh truths that the odds were stacked against our favor, like too many others, our little family has known firsthand the hard-earned battle it’s taken to blend our worlds.
Oh, how perfectly messy it is.
When my heart has been drenched with the aching of this journey and I’ve felt torn between you and the daughter that came first, you’ve stepped aside. Or I’ve shoved you out of the way–and you’ve given me the space I’ve so desperately needed.
To figure out another day.
When I’ve been at the end of my rope and think I can’t go any further, you’ve told me not only that I could but that we’re gonna be ok.
That we’d make it.
When doors have slammed and voices have reached a startling all-time high, you stood faithful to calm my crazy and bring the moment back to stable.
When our big girl’s heart has been lost in emotions, fell to her knees broken in tears, and struggled to reach toward a level of love from a father that may never be able to return it; you have stood faithful to be an anchor.
Even if our girl can’t see it and even when she refuses to feel it.
Looking back on the last nine years, as time has matured us, I see just how purposely your rule-following self, was perfectly paired with this untamed little family of two. Oh, how this journey is fast-tracking you to be the BIG GUNNED 😉 dad you are growing into for both our girls.
With your covert FBI skills being sharpened daily to new heights–heaven forbid, if construction ever goes south–you’ve definitely proven yourself a career in the CIA.
The wisdom I never knew a man could have—baby, you got it!
Your sixth sense that secret missions are about to go down in the land of Teenville? Check!
Your mad abilities to find those top rated, lockdown, social media apps? The endless parenting books and that car tracking system? Yip. You got all that!
And yet, I don’t doubt for a second that you and I are just babes in the land of marriage, nor that we have yet to see some of our biggest storms.
I pray we never forget how we got this far. I pray we never stop pursuing the wisdom of God to parent in our home and lead our marriage. As scary and vulnerable as this life can be, I pray we fight the good fight to choose each other over anything this world has to offer.
May God continue to lead our hearts toward His truth.