A few months back I was in a heated conversation. I wouldn’t call it a debate. I wouldn’t call it a fight. Simply, it was a conversation. But it.was.hot. because we were both sharing our hearts that had been storing up some serious thoughts and emotions.

The person I was having the conversation with isn’t so much the topic here…but rather a statement that was made in the middle of the mess and heated moment.

In the go around of words that seemed a perfectly orchestrated storm of emotions I clinched my fist and leaned in with an invasive shout, “I need you to DIG DEEP!”

With a pause and short hesitation, the response back was..

“I DON’T KNOW HOW”.

God, how the honesty was a relief to what I had been struggling to understand and yet, I was shocked. Here I was standing in front of someone I have great admiration for. Someone who has accomplished things in ways I think I never could. Ever. A person with strength, confidence, and boldness in ways that are inconceivable to me. And yet they couldn’t comprehend the depth of how to dig that deep into the context of which I was applying it.

Since that conversation, I have played it over in my mind again and again.

And this is what I have come up with. For now. 

1. How the hell do I help someone, that I am working with and who wants to stay in the game, fight for the game and win? 2. Not everyone has the ability to dig deep in the same context of which I have had to. 3. Some have fought the good fight alone for too long and may not even know how to let someone sincerely join them and love them to a higher ground of life’s battles. 4. Maybe the standard they are fighting for is inconceivable to them but they want more.  5. Perhaps they didn’t dig deep in their previous storms and are still learning what that means.

In my previous career assisting clients that wished to change their life through education, I had to make up to 90 calls some days. Out of those 90 phone calls, I was expected to find X amount of students that were ready to create change. It never got old when I connected with someone who was not only excited to create the change they wanted in their lives, but they were ready and prepared to take those next steps to make their life better.

And sometimes, regardless of how much they wanted their life to change or how deep I dug into their motivation of why they wanted the change, it just didn’t matter. They didn’t take the next step to sit in their first class. Even those I had just spoken to the same afternoon that expressed genuine excitement.

Between my own journey and the lives or those I have helped…

What has worked?

In order to create the change we need we must be willing to step out of our place of comfort and push beyond the pain. 

My friend,  as I am busy coming and going this week, I can’t help but think about all we do in the days between what we have and what we want. I ask myself and you these questions:

As a single mom, what do you hope for? What is it you are restless inside about? What are you trying to build? Create an image. Define the dream.

But absolutely be prepared to dig deep. Build your tool box with supplies that will provide you the order in which you need to succeed.

Every season has its own classroom that once we pass through takes us to that next destination of learning and growing. Be wise and prepare yourself for those next opportunities and don’t be afraid to invest in what you need to get you there.