“Sometimes, Cassie, in order to fully understand how to give, you have to have received much.” That afternoon, as soon as her words rolled off her tongue and hit my thirsty soul, I knew this carved out sentence would be the beginning of new understanding for me. There are many gifts to receiving.
Because I’ve been abundantly blessed to have been given so much during my single motherhood journey, from finances to favors, to an outpouring of God’s mercy and forgiveness, the words of my friend hit my heart hard. She, too, had been in the same place of great need. Coming all the way from Indonesia, her family was very well taken care of and comfortable in a variety of ways. Upon her arrival to America, life was unfamiliar and incomparable to the life she had known.
Maybe you have experienced this too. The vulnerable place of dependence. A need to receive.
**DISCLAIMER: if you are the awesome parent of a teen who is in the 1% population with straight A’s and no cell phone or no cell phone struggles: stop here. Least your judgment burn through and wreck havoc on my fragile ego.
For the rest of you, especially single moms, let’s talk about the headache of social media, parenting, and what we can do to gain control of it.
During my ten years of being a single mom, besides earning a Bachelors in Communication Science, I think I also earned a doctorate in Frugal. I believe I may have acquired a double major in Thrifty & Just Don’t Spend.
It’s been over five years since my family screamed that debt free scream in our living room and I still fight the urge to recycle EVERY plastic baggy I come across in our home.
I remember the days I would buy a four pack of toilet paper for my family of two and it would last us TWO weeks! I think we must have been really busy and drinking little to no fluids because I am not sure how that happened.
Paper towels? Same thing. Only I would make one roll last us an entire a month. What?!
Although I have yet to delve into my debt free story, I hope to do that soon, I wanted to give you three powerful and awesome little jewels to help you right now. I want to keep you motivated in this debt free run you are on. So here are three FREE things you can do RIGHT now to get ready for a debt free life.
Sometimes we just need to take a break from the grind and hear something encouraging, sweet and deserving.
Because who is able to accomplish something great without being encouraged?
Few, my friend. Very few.
There was a time in my life I was very good at quitting. During high-school, I quit track and soccer. In that exact order.
Truth be told, if I’m digging a little deeper here, there were lots of things I quit in life.
- I quit believing in myself
- I quit trying
- I quit imagining the possibilities
- I quit loving myself
Thinking back to when I was a little girl…
My imagination ran to the wildest of places. One of my favorite childhood memories is that of me riding my pony, which was merely a saddle on a stand in a small 3 ft x 3 ft shed. But oh the miles I traveled while sitting on that pony, near the side of our little yellow house tucked deep in the woods. The indians I chased and the cowboys I ran with were enough to solidify any cowgirls wildest dreams.
But somewhere along the way, somewhere between little girl land and those tumultuous teenage years…
In last week’s blog post, I talked about why it is few women support one another in managing their finances.
I would much rather talk about the heart of the family. The organization of putting a home in order so things can run smooth for you. In doing so I can’t leave out your finances. I just can’t do it. All week I had so many other ideas to chat about but I knew the foundation of this series on debt had to be laid. The topic addressed because the stress of my finances was the one thing that I never mastered as a single mom. I don’t want you to do the same. That is why I can’t ignore this grueling topic.
This week, I want to address the top five reasons why it’s hard for us to let someone into this private and very sacred financial place and yet, why it’s so crucial to the vitality of single parent living.
So let’s go!
Can I confess a shameful secret that only my family, good friends, and bosses have ever known about me?
I am time challenged.
How on earth I’ve managed to get through to this point in my life, with this disability, is still a complete mystery to me. Looking back through the years, I’ve been this way my entire life. I have raced against the clock for decades. I’m 38; it’s been decades! Well, probably 2-2.5 but that is still plural. I haven’t mastered a way to beat it yet.
And guess what?
Do you ever think about how rich you would be if you were to get paid for all you did for your children? Ya, I rarely do either. Because, well, let’s face it, it’s our job. But when did it become our kid’s job to not work? I’ve heard the stories. Maybe you have too.Great Grandpa walked to school and back in the snow. Over the hill. Ten miles. He made the long trip after he had already been up since 4 a.m. milking the cows, delivered two sows (that’s a grown female pig. Probably didn’t deliver that but hey!) and fed the chickens. When grandpa got home, sure he had homework, but that was done after he plowed the field, helped his daddy with the wagon harnesses and prepared the barn for momma’s canning (I always wanted to can so I tossed that in there).
I don’t know about you, but being a single mom is HARD work. A different kind of hard work than our great grandparents may have had but never-the-less, it’s hard work. Why, then, does it seem like we give our children the easy way out? Why is it that we don’t make them push to be there best? Not only push them to be their best but set the standard and expectations around the house and assist them in following through. Well, my dear friend, if this is something you struggle with, I’m here to tell you…
It was 2004, and it was bad. As in, your life is a sinking hole of sewer scum. The toilet is still flushing with you in it, and you are going down the tubes faster than a rat up a drainpipe. Am I descriptive enough here? Let me explain it more clearly…
There was a second round of cockroaches scurrying about in my kitchen cabinets, at one point they wandered into my bedroom and met me in bed. Ya, gross! Never have I co-existed with roaches. The refrigerator had just gone out, and the food was spoiling quickly. The food I bought? I couldn’t even afford. I bought it on food stamps (thank God for those bad boys and the E.B.T card that came soon after so I didn’t have to pull out stamps to make a food purchase!).
That was just the warm-up intro to impress you. Let me continue…