Boundary line. Explicitly drawn. Leaving little confusion.
We can talk about boundaries all day.
We can talk about how simple they can be or how difficult they are to identify, then a time comes, a situation occurs, and there’s a pressing demand to voice one.
As uncomfortable as drawing that line in the sand can be for some, it is the key to sanctioning a protective barrier between you and the other party.
Regardless if the topic being addressed is of a professional or personal matter, the ability to voice your line is fundamental to your growth.
I swear to all goodness in the world..
The second I feel confident in this area of my life, new opportunity strikes, and I am quickly humbled on the topic. Leaving me confidently assured that regardless of how comfortable I’ve become in life and the boundaries I have already established in previous relationships — crazy CAN always occur.
This opportunity usually creates an anxiousness that digs so deep into my inner core I think it becomes part of my DNA.
I begin to have breakfast and lunch with it and then settle into a good nights sleep to suddenly realize anxiousness and fear don’t snuggle up and cuddle well with a warm glass of comfort. Wide awake, I lay there. Grappling for sleep to arrive and rest to take over. By day two and three I start to get wise and decide there is NO room. How often have we succeeded at walking in both fear and peace?
I REFUSE to sit in this place for long.
Fighting for something someone has taken from you is a battle. But single momma, YOU, your children and your family are worth EVERY bit of the fight!!! ❤️
What do I do when I find myself walking in fear and controlled by another person? And What Can I Offer You?
I can’t speak for you, but for me, it takes a bit to recognize I’ve entered into a serious or mild state of mental and emotional paralysis. Sponsored by fear itself.
Our minds are a crazy landmine waiting to launch some pretty gnarly thoughts. Be sensitive to the variety of emotions moving around and inside that precious space called YOU. Once you have identified a need for a boundary to be laid down and established in a relationship, your next move is to simply— VOICE IT.
If this is easy for you, THIS IS GREAT!! If it’s not so simple for you, I understand. I REALLY REALLY do.
So much so, that I sat down to write out 4 tips to bringing out your voice and helping you speak your truth:
- Ask yourself what you’re struggling with in voicing the boundary. Are you afraid? If so, what of? Are you able to eliminate the fear? Re-write the fear? Or is the fear real and viable? Write these fears down and rewrite the new truth. Bible verses help me a lot with this.
- Talk it out with a trusted friend, therapist, mentor or coach. This is especially good if you are stuck on creating a new truth and identifying a plan.
- Weigh out the pros and cons (what if you don’t do anything about this/what if you do ….kinda thing) and take hold of the cons. If they are healthy, they are probably all about protecting your heart and your space and/or your children’s.
- NEVER offer up the negotiation of your heart. Never sacrifice the cost of losing you and ALWAYS work HARD at being intentional to gain it back if someone has hijacked your peace or you trustingly handed it over.
And lastly, my friend, it’s my hope that this short guide transitions you one step further into a space that provides you room to breathe, grow and be healthy. As women and single moms, I see a huge need to cultivate the inner voice in a way that speaks the truth of our heart. It is hard to deliver something when we are still struggling in it ourselves.
Therefore, never be afraid to sit in your emotions.
They are preparing you for your next move. Recognize when you’ve been there long enough and be your own advocate to take the next stop out of the emotion and into action.
Voicing a boundary is great, but delivering it with soul, conviction, and ease is an art.
Voicing a boundary is great, but delivering it with soul, conviction, and ease is an art. Click To Tweet